Boring Nightmares and Jokes

I love the argument against tattoos where someone will say “your body is a temple and you shouldn’t defile it with graffiti.” I’ve got friends with ink who always bring up the counterpoint “the Sistine Chapel has artwork on the ceiling, why shouldn’t I?” In defense of the point against tattoos, yeah, the Sistine Chapel does have art on the ceiling, but it’s not some hacky arrow tattoo that a white girl gets on spring break. The Sistine Chapel’s art is a highly intricate, detailed work of High Renaissance art, showcasing Michelangelo’s artistic abilities through depicting a bunch of naked dudes hugging each other… On second thought, maybe tattoos aren’t that big of a deal.

I’ve been having weird dreams lately. They’re weird because they seem real. In the past, when I would have dreams they were crazy, hard to decipher, and I would forget what they were about by the time I woke up. However, that’s not the case with the dreams I’ve been having. It’s gotten to the point now where it’s hard for me to figure out if the dream was real or not in the first couple of minutes when I wake up. For example, I had a dream recently where I gave a friend of mine a tattoo and he got mad at me for screwing it up. Once I woke up, I texted my friend to apologize only to find out it was a dream when he replied to my text with “what the hell are you talking about?” This moment felt like a real life M. Night Shyamalan twist ending. I’ll also have dreams where I’m back in high school and I’m sitting in the middle of Spanish class. In the dream, I’m failing the course and feeling anxious about the fact I will not pass the class. The dream will end when I wake up, then for a couple minutes I’m thinking about how I should get a tutor and hit the books only to realize it was a dream.

I remember when I use to have crazy dreams that were imaginative and would transfer me to crazy worlds. I guess those days are gone. I feel that’s a sign of growing up where your nightmares get more realistic. They go from nightmares of the boogeyman to nightmares of failing Spanish 1.

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I’m introducing a new section to the blog that will consist of jokes and observations I’ve made throughout the week. These are jokes that I’m just throwing out into the public domain so feel free to share these with your friends, co-workers, etc.

Weekly quips:

- With 7 out of 10 rooms vacant due to coronavirus concerns, Hilton Hotels have announced a partnership with Lysol to ensure cleanliness of rooms. When asked about the changes, a representative from Hilton said “we’ve always cleaned the rooms; the only difference is now we’re going to try.”

- What do Italian grandmas and serial killers have in common? They both love covering everything in plastic.

- Two Alabama high schools are receiving some negative press after conducting high school graduation ceremonies despite threats from the coronavirus. Personally, I don’t see what’s wrong here; I thought gatherings of less than 10 people were safe.

- Most people who say “this isn’t my first rodeo” have never been in a rodeo.

- A woman was injured when a bison knocked her down at Yellowstone National park. Park Officials say this happened after she failed to obey a park rule requiring visitors to distance themselves 25 yards away from wildlife. On the upside, at least she was wearing a mask.

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Thanks for reading. I decided to write a short post this time, but next week it’ll probably be longer. Please let me know what you guys think about the newest “weekly quips” section. As always, let me know what you would like to see me write about next.