Double Feature Blog Because I Couldn’t Figure Out What To Write About

I couldn’t think of anything to post this week so I’m just going to write about a couple random thoughts I had about airplanes and suburbia that didn’t go anywhere. Enjoy.

Does everyone in suburbia have the same dog? I was walking my dog yesterday (Shiba Inu rescue) and saw three golden retrievers being walked by three different women. You could tell they were designer dogs because each dog looked more deformed than the last from years of inbreeding. I wouldn’t be surprised if the last two knew how to play the banjo. The first one looked normal, but the others bummed me out. I just don’t get why someone would go to a breeder when you can adopt at a shelter? It’s as if they feel their dog is a representation of their wealth. In addition to the dogs, the owners all looked the same as well. They all had big sunglasses, visors, and were dressed in athletic gear even though they probably never ran a marathon in their life (neither have I, but you don’t see me dressing the part). I call it the cookie cutter suburbia look. If it wasn’t for the dog, I would’ve thought they were the same person. The only thing missing from the three to round out their image was an SUV with a “Salt Life” sticker on the back. In my neighborhood there are also a few paranoid types that go crazy with home security. There’s one family in my neighborhood that has a Golden Retriever, Husky, and German Shepard, always in the backyard behind a chain link fence. On top of that, the house is fitted with cameras on the sides, front door, and garage. What are they trying to protect in their house, the Ark of the Covenant?

Why don’t all commercial planes have parachutes? They have oxygen masks; blow up boats, and life jackets. All of these items are useful in the event of a water landing. However there is nothing on the plane that is useful to the flyer (other than oxygen masks) in the event of, oh I don’t know, THE PLANE BLOWING UP AND FALLING OUT OF THE SKY. Don’t get me wrong, there is an importance for this aquatic equipment if you are flying over sea, I get that. However, in the event of an emergency it seems you’d want to jump ship before it blows up. Are you supposed to bring your own parachute and I’ve been missing something this whole time? Imagine asking this to a pilot and being told “you should always keep a parachute in your carry-on, have the flight attendants not been telling you all this?” Maybe there’s a reason for this and I’m just dense. This is just the perspective of the anxious flyer. I love flying, and do really well with the being up in the air portion of the flight. It’s the taking off and landing part that I get a little nervous about. This is because most plane crashes happen when they are close to the ground (“Wow Gabe, great observation!” says the sarcastic jerk that is my conscience).

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I couldn’t think of a single topic to write about this week so I just did a double feature blog. If it seems kind of choppy that’s why. Thanks again for reading and if you have any suggestions as to what I should write about in the future let me know in the comments.