Almost Famous Story #279

You ever have a moment where you think about something that happened early in your life that if done differently, the outcome might have been different? It’s like one of those butterfly effect scenarios where a small change could’ve altered your current state like saying what was on your mind at the time or remembering to zip up your pants after leaving the restroom at the bar to meet up with your crush (personal story for another time). This is what today’s story is about. I’m currently 23-years-old. I don’t know a lot to be considered wise, but what I do know is you can’t dwell on the past. Just pick a road, go down it, and be happy with whatever happens because there is no changing what has been done. In my 23 years I’ve learned the only thing you can control is how you deal with the outcomes of your decisions. That, and Ty Pennington is a jerk.

It was June of 2009 in Erie, Pennsylvania and there was a huge buzz around the community as the show “Extreme Makeover Home Edition” was making a stop in town to film an episode. Now, to bigger cities this might not seem like a big deal. However, for Erie, this was seen as a way to absolve the city of its sins in the media. This was because seven years prior to makeover coming to town, the Pizza Bomber incident happened. You’re probably wondering “what’s the Pizza Bomber incident Gabe?” Long story short a pizza delivery man was taken hostage, strapped with an explosive collar, and ordered to rob banks around the Erie area. It didn’t end well. I don’t have the time to explain the whole ordeal, so my advice to you is to open Google, and search “Pizza Bomber Erie PA” or watch the documentary “Evil Genius” on Netflix. To say this was crippling to the Erie’s image would be an understatement. This was the second worse thing to happen to the city next to Connor McDavid leaving the Otters to go pro. Anyways, I digress. The point is this was the first time in almost ten years that the media spotlight would be on Erie for something other than the pizza bomber and everyone in Erie was aware of this and on their best behavior.

The day the cameras started rolling a huge mob of people gathered outside the home to literally watch paint dry. Police were there to set up guard rails for the onlookers to stay behind. They were also there to make sure no one went “backstage” to where the trailers, production booths and catering were located. At the time, my mom was working with the show on behalf of the ad agency where she worked. So, my dad took me down to the set and we would wait for mom to finish up her work. It was summer, so I didn’t have anything else to do. My memory of those days isn’t the best due to it taking place such a long time ago. What I do remember is being bored out of my mind to the point where I would beg my dad to take me home so I could play video games. Everyone in the audience was constantly looking out, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ty Pennington, the star and host of the show. Pennington was famous for a couple hot minutes back in the 2000s, now you can see him selling mortgages on daytime commercials on HGTV. For those of you who still have no idea what I’m talking about try imagining a taller Steven Tyler with a Guy Fieri frosted tips haircut and an Ed Hardy T-shirt. For those of you thinking “Ed Hardy T-shirt? Frosted tips? This is madness Gabe!” keep in mind this was the 2000s. Some things were more acceptable at that time.

On the third day of shooting, once again, I was dragged down to the set to visit my mom. However, this day was extra busy as they were doing most of the filming for the various scenes of the episode. You’re probably wondering “Gabe, Extreme Makeover was a reality show, why would they need to record sketch scenes?” The show would do little skits to break up the boring mess that is home improvement shows. This was prime-time ABC television in America and the audience has the attention span of a hummingbird.

After standing for a couple hours in the hot, muggy, June weather watching nothing, but 2x4s getting placed, I was getting agitated and so was my dad. Eventually, after begging my dad to drive me home he gave in to my nagging. Before we left, he called my mom to tell her we were leaving, but just as he was about to call, he was interrupted by a bullhorn. One of the production assistants, armed with a megaphone, ABC visor, and a clipboard said “Attention everybody, we are in need of five kids between the ages of 4 and 12 for a skit.” This caused a mad frenzy to erupt among the crowd. The crowd kept shouting, “Pick my kid!” “No, pick my kid!” Suddenly every parent in the greater Erie area that showed up to watch paint dry was fighting for their kid’s 15 seconds of fame. The production assistant, overwhelmed said “Alright everyone, settle down!” “You.” She pointed to some girl from Fairview. “You.” She picked another kid from the city. “You” Another girl, but this one went to my school. “You.” She picked another boy from the city. “Uh, what about you, the one with the weird bowl cut.” It was me. My dad put down the phone as the production assistant explained how I was going to be on TV. My dad looked at me and said “do you want to be on TV” and I said “okay.”

A couple more employees from the show came up and before I knew it, I was placed in the production booth and the director was giving me lines to read. Another thing to note, the house they were working on in this episode belonged to a daycare owner, so the crew thought it would be funny to do a skit where the kids ran the show from the production booth and were giving out demands to the crew of the show. One kid was going to demand a better shot, another asking for their dry cleaning, etc. My line was “I need a cappuccino, low foam, stat!” I still remember the line to this day, it still haunts me. I was really shy growing up, soft-spoken and didn’t really fit in with a lot of groups. It was hard for me to come out of my comfort zone when meeting new people and it was especially hard for me to do so when nervous. When we rehearsed the lines, surprisingly, I wasn’t intensely nervous. Make no mistake, I was shy, but the crew of the show must’ve been convinced that I wasn’t. That all changed when out of nowhere, in comes the host of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. It was Ty Pennington. He came in, didn’t even introduce himself and walked straight to the director. His mindset was strictly work related and it was apparent he was a busy guy who had no time for nonsense. His vibrant personality was blinding, or maybe that was his bedazzled Ed Hardy t-shirt. It was at this moment, my nerves got the best of me.

After the director finished going over lines with Ty, it was time to roll the camera. “Take one!” The scene started with Ty running into the production booth in a rush saying “hey guys, what going on here!?” I remember being impressed with how fast Ty could switch between the fictional, excited character I saw on TV and the professional, serious guy I had just met moments earlier. The scene was going well until it was my turn. The first kid said their lines, then the second, third, fourth, and then me. Silence, I felt like I was living in that Eminem song about the spaghetti and sweaty palms. “Cut!” proclaimed the director, “Take two, action.” We try again, but the same thing happens. Now the crew is getting impatient and so is Ty. One of the assistants comes up to me. This guy must have had prior experience working with young actors because he was really cool and got down to my level to explain what was going on. The assistant said, “There’s no need to be nervous, think of all your friends who are going to see you on TV.” This did make me feel a little better. “Take three, Action.” To my surprise, I actually said the line, but it was quiet and barely audible to the cast, crew, and Ty. “I’ll, have a cappuccino, low foam, stat.” A couple seconds pass, then the director says “Cut” and looks at Ty. A couple more seconds pass, this time they felt like minutes. Then, Ty says out loud in front of everyone, including me “we can’t use this.” Ty then walked away in a hurry and that was the last I saw of him.

When I left the production trailer with the rest of the “actors,” we met with our parents. It was obvious to all of us that we were not going to be on the show. Everyone was upset, except for me. I could finally go home, get out of the heat and play video games. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized what could have happened if I would’ve just said my lines correctly. Who knows? Right now, I could be in the Hollywood hills partying with Miley Cyrus. Maybe. Maybe not.

The show left Erie after a couple of days and five months later, the Erie episode aired. To the surprise of no one, my skit didn’t air. Like I said above, I wasn’t too upset about it until later in my teenage years when I finally understood what the butterfly effect was and how the slightest change could have made me a star. However, in my later teen and early 20s I learned you can’t hold on to the past and you have to move forward. You can’t change what has been done; the only thing you can control is how you deal with the outcome. Today, I don’t hold a grudge against Ty Pennington or hold any ill feelings towards him. In fact, Ty, if by the off chance you are one of the five people reading my blog and ever find yourself in the Erie area we should get coffee, my treat. I know a great place that serves cappuccinos with low foam. I’ll even tell them to make it snappy.

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I decided to write a story based blog this week. Sorry about it being so long. With no blog last week, I had a lot of time to work on this post. Please let me know how it is and what I could do differently in the future. If there is anything you'd like to see me write about or do differently on the blog, let me know. If you enjoyed this please feel free to share it with your friends. Thanks for reading! I'll see you next week.