Gabe Doesn't Know How to Party

“I’d vote for that guy, he’s the type of person I’d like to share a drink with.” This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard someone say while eavesdropping at the gas station. I’ve shared many drinks with friends, more so in my college years. I would never for a second think about voting for any of them in an election. I’d be out of my mind and irresponsible. Hell, I wouldn’t even vote them for student class president. That being said, this week’s post is about college.

One of the many things students learn in their college years is how college isn’t for everyone. For some it is used as a way to halt adulthood for an extra four years (five years if you major in partying). From networking to how many seconds you can last on a mechanical bull, college is a time for young adults to learn about the world and themselves. In college I learned that I suck at partying.

When moving onto campus, freshmen are assigned to where they live. They have no say in this process. Most colleges determine freshman housing based on whether the student is an athlete or not and will group students in relation to this. Anyone who knows agrees that I am the furthest thing from a student athlete. Despite this, I was placed in the same dorm as the freshmen from the water polo, swim and football team (Due to my small stature I had the football players convinced I was a kicker for a solid week). It was the classic “fish out of water” story you’d find on some cheesy sitcom. Surprisingly, I ended up becoming good friends with the guys on my floor even to the point where they would come to my stand-up shows on campus.

One of the fondest memories I have of living on the athlete’s floor was waking up Sunday morning and seeing what was broken this week. Friday and Saturday night was party time for many on campus and around 2:00 am everyone would stumble back to the dorms, plastered. After consuming copious amounts of cheap beer and liquor, they were smashed. The big drink among freshmen was Four Loco, a drink that I am certain has no purpose other besides putting holes in walls. On Sunday morning our floor looked like the dressing room of a rock star that didn’t get the blue M&M’s they wanted.

Within the next couple of years I would turn 21-years-old and join a fraternity that had many of my friends from the athlete dorm. I would frequent bars around town with them. I always liked going to the bars because you could actually have a conversation as opposed to the clubs. At a bar you can sit down, drink, and hear what your friends are saying to you in conversation. At a club, it’s the total opposite other than the drinking part. People are packed in really tight and it’s loud. It’s like one of those pictures of the packed trains in India except everyone is wasted.

While the party life wasn’t for me I found myself befriending those who were fond of this lifestyle. Even though we were polar opposites in this respect, we found common ground in other areas. Whether that was a shared interest in pro wrestling with the football players or shared sense of humor and interest in music with my frat brothers, there was always an area where we could agree on despite us being so different. These guys that I would never have thought wanted to hang out with me in high school would soon become some of my best friends in college. These guys took me in and taught me how to party through including me in their weekly bar escapades around town. Through their inclusion of me in their group, today I can say that I no longer suck at partying. Now, I'm just mediocre at it.

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Thanks for reading. If you want me to write about anything specific let me know in the comments. Once again, I'm just writing about past stuff now due to not being able to leave the house because of the quarantine.